Some people want chocolates and roses for Valentine’s Day, but it’s not the small (or big) romantic gestures on special occasions that lead to relationship success. To go from an initial date to a long-term relationship you need to look for qualities in a potential mate that make you feel safe and open with that other person. What you may not know is that these traits can lead you in the direction of developing a secure-functioning relationship.

What is a secure-functioning relationship?

A term coined by PACT co-founder Dr. Stan Tatkin, a secure-functioning relationship is an interpersonal system based on principles of true mutuality, collaboration, justice, fairness, and sensitivity. You and your partner are taking on the world together. You protect each other from the threats of the external, the outside world, and from the internal, each other. A secure functioning relationship acknowledges and celebrates that you and your partner each have a different mind, history, drive, and interests. It’s a relationship built on interdependence, where you both accept the burden and care of the other equally. (read the full article here: (https://www.thepactinstitute.com/blog/beyond-the-valentine-chocolates-and-roses-creating-a-long-lasting-relationship)